When Will Maynard Bring the Wine?

Photograph Credit : Wikimedia Commons, Public Domain.

There is a running joke around my house, and among some of my friends about "When Maynard Will Bring the Wine". It came about during a conversation that involved two things : The George Carlin book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" (which is actually a whole other story in it's own right!), and a discussion of  Maynard James Keenan , Tool, A Perfect Circle, Puscifer, NIN, Trent Reznor, and of course, Maynard's vineyards.

We had just discussed the Carlin book, and cut into a discussion on Maynard. While sipping a glass of cheap red wine (Sangria, most likely, knowing me), I joked about how Maynard and Reznor, and all those wonderful "luminaries" of this age (they are most certainly among the great poets, philosophers, and luminaries of our generations), most likely sit around discussing bold philosophies, arcane wisdoms, and metaphorical paradigms whilst partaking in the bountiful fruits of Maynard's vineyards.

After lengthy and weighty discussion of this, and assumed topics therein (our own philosophical ponders naturally ensuing), I proclaimed that:

"This has been a lovely little discourse, and I truly enjoy it when we ponder such things, but seeing my glass is now empty, my deepest wonder is, when will Maynard bring the wine?" None us us being able to afford Maynard's wine, I thought he should bring us some, don't you?

It has been a running joke ever since, and now anytime I am gifted with a bottle of wine, bring home a bottle, or am caught sipping a glass, it of course brings about similar conversations. My eldest daughter even gave me a bottle of wine and a Puscifer CD one year for X-mas, or my birthday, with a note to the effect that "Maynard didn't bring the wine, but I did, mom!"

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